I’ve been accepted into CoMA’s Midwinter Composers Masterclass!!!! This is both deeply awesome and rather scary. Not having really received any feedback from other composers in about 15 years, it’s a wee bit daunting. As is having to write a string quintet from scratch by the middle of December, but I really feel like this is a big step towards whatever’s next on the agenda for my music. Scared but elated. The Masterclass is organised by CoMA, who are an organisation who promote contemporary (classical) music for amateur musicians, and the composer in charge of us composer-participants is Tansy Davies… who is the same age as me, which could be a little weird, although I’m hoping not. I really liked what I heard of her music on her website and, reading about her approach, she seems to use architecture as a launching-point in a similar way to how I’ve been using modern art, so it could be interesting. There’ll also be a composer ensemble, made up of whatever we selected composers can play. Not sure if/when we’re advised of what that is – the notes sent through recommend flexible instrumentation – who knows, maybe Deconstruct:Point, line, plane could get another outing? SO EXCITED!

Anyway, that was at the end of the day. Haven’t achieved a vast amount otherwise, but I was feeling I needed to get back to composing, but I’ve been finding the prospect a little daunting with so many people in the house, even if it is a large space and we’re not all on top of each other like we used to be in the old place – it’s just not the same as being on your own. Anyway, so I figured I needed to start doing something about it so I pulled out the music for Egg the Tenth, which I wrote earlier this year (it was the original interlude for the Whitman songs, but didn’t really mesh well there, so I put it to one side to be an egg, but never got around to putting the detail in the score) and dropped in appropriate accidentals, hunted out fonts and did a little layout on it, so it’s basically ready to go now. I also did a MIDI export because I was planning on reworking it in ProTools to sound a bit more like a proper performance than Finale can do… and then discovered that I don’t remember how to wire my tracks in ProTools to get it to use proper sounds, at which point I lost heart and had a nap.

And there was a baking experiment too. When I was seeing my nutritionist, she encouraged me to get hold of this natural sugar substitute called xylitol so I could avoid using sugar when I baked (if you’re new here, I have an insulin resistance – it’s not diabetes [yet] but basically the insulin my body produces forgets what it’s supposed to do with sugar it encounters – unless I exercise regularly, but having been crippled for coming up on a year now, this hasn’t really been happening, hence decision to experiment…). I was in the organic shop today picking up some bits and pieces, and thought that maybe I should give it a go, so I decided to make a crumble with the tasty-but-dry remaining nectarine and some lingering apples – I figured that at least if it was only in the crumble topping, then that could be abandoned if it was too awful. Well, I wouldn’t go so far as to say ‘awful’. I guess the flavour was kinda OK, but the texture was All Wrong. The crumble didn’t crisp and it certainly didn’t go chewy. But it wasn’t particularly sweet either (that could have been my fault). So basically it ended up like one of those worthy but tedious baked bars they fill with jam. But without the jam. Sort of bland and like eating a high-fibre pillow. There’s a bit left from the rather small packet, so I might have a go at using it up in a cake (possibly cut with some real sugar) and see if that fares any better.

And finally I started work on getting IE6 sorted out with the website layout while I watched Alice in Wonderland – turned out the problem with the fonts wasn’t anything to do with either fonts or code, it was to do with IE6 not applying styles to the new HTML 5 elements which were referenced in the cascade. So that’s sorted out now, which is a bit yay

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Actually lasted a whole day at work. It doesn’t sound like much, but considering I’ve not managed more than a half day anytime in the past week (having had a whole week off with the flu before that), I think it’s a bit of an achievement. Got real work done too. Woot!

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I’d actually forgotten about this poor little blog. There’s just been so much going on over the past month – work, the piece for London New Wind Festival (stress and heartbreak over that one – more on that later, I suspect), my healing ankle (good news on that one, at least!), a week off frantically working on the piece, then frantically trying to get the house in order & achieve other chores before zooming off to Edinburgh to sample the Festival for a few brief days and go to a meeting in Dundee. And of course, while in Scotland I accidentally relaxed, and within 4 hours had the flu. Which I still have, a week and a half later.

So now I am at home, bored, frustrated and wanting to get things done but lacking the actual physical strength to do it. Every nap is plagued with hideous nightmares (this afternoon I was being chased at vast speed by an aggressive eagle, last night I woke whimpering at 3am thinking my legs were wound around with hundreds of red and black centipedes) which usually indicates that my creative brain is running and ready to go… except that I don’t have the strength to actually do very much.

So it’s been a tad on the frustrating side, really. And we’re nearing the end of August now. The piece is due in final form, with parts, on 1 September; on 21 September my parents arrive for 3 months and we all go to Paris for a week, which I’m quite looking forward to – when my brain lets go of the panic of all the pages and pages of things that need to be done before then – everything ranging from doing some handwashing (working out the best way to do handwashing in our new flat) to getting the landlord to take away the horrible lumpy bed in what will be the parents’ room to harassing Djelibeybi to organise a passport for Number One Son who is supposed to be coming to live with us next year. Not to mention getting back to my harmony studies, the Satie/Dada article, the web book, reworking my website and actually doing something about the many, many incomplete projects that are lying about the place…

Now I’m going to stop thinking about it and maybe go and do a little gentle baking, if the germ will let me stay standing for that long.

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Not generally something to warrant four exclamation marks, but it is right now. If you consider that I haven’t been able to even contemplate any sort of exercise for over three months that wasn’t getting me from A to B (and then usually with a struggle), this counts as a huge achievement. AND it’s a gorgeous day out there. Nice to clear the cobwebs (even if it was only by going round the block), hear the birds going twit and see the sun.

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with a much-needed 4-hour nap. Also had a massage to counter the tension headache, which has been quite horrific this week, baked oatmeal scones again, did a bit of work on djeli’s new hat (I’ve passed the turn-up and am on to the hat proper now!) and received the first part of my Amazon order – Wii Fit Plus (which obviously I can’t use until the sprained ankle is sorted out) and 3 Beatles albums – Magical Mystery Tour, Revolver and A Hard Day’s Night – woo! Also had a bash at one of my new Wii games – Lego Indiana Jones – which looks like a heap of fun. A lovely, relaxing day – can’t remember the last time I had one of those!

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post-leg operation, and finally I was told what they’d used – I was zapped with radio waves rather than laser. I’ll be interested to see the results of the study when it’s done. Anyway, the doc gave me a thumbs up overall, but was a little concerned at the patches of sudden but brief inflammation I’ve been experiencing so she’s booking me in for another scan in 6 months time to make sure everything’s OK. The numbness is receding, so that’s huge cause for celebration anyway. Yay!

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OK. This one definitely not fun. But necessary (there seem to have been a few of those lately!) and it made me feel good that I both managed to make the appointment and go to it without having a total meltdown. And the reward? NO CAVITIES! Yay!

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Saw the nutritionist in the morning, the accountant in the afternoon and went to Waitrose in between times. Not exciting, but things that needed to be done, and both appointments went off well, so I’m feeling quite a bit better about both the food stuff and the accounts. Bond extravaganza in the evening: Casino Royale followed by Quantum of Solace. Lovely stuff.

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About getting some imaging done on my neck/head to see what damage the concussion last year did. This is a big leap forward, in spite of sounding so dull. I’ve been umming and ahhing about whether to do it or not, but the pain I’ve been in this week has pushed me on to do something about it. It’s one of those deals where he sends off the paperwork, then a bit later somebody in the NHS sends me an appointment, so goodness only knows when it will actually be, but at least it’s a start.

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Still hard at work on the six-month headache, but at least today we seemed to make a discovery – one of the vertebrae in my neck is jamming when the head is turned at a certain angle. Anyway, he’s done a bit of work on it – we’ll see how it is after a couple of days. Crossing fingers! Holding thumbs!

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